Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
