he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
