Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
