i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
