Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
