and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize