I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize