im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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