I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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