I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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