I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You took a bar mat shot.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
