She announced her abortion via fbk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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