What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
