no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
