...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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