So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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