She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
