This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
