You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
