oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
