I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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