He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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