we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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