your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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