Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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