Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
