I think I died a long time ago.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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