It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.