Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots