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Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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