google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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