Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
