But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
