i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize