if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
