Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
