On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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