yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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