You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
