How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
