rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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