so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
