I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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