I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We are all done wearing pants today
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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