I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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