That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
