I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
