I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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