We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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