Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
