ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
