I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
