Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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