I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize