I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
