I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
