If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize