Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize