Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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