I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.