It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Come on in and take your pants off