Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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(301): View more from Maryland

soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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(925): View more from California

Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?

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(518): View more from New York

it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..

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(609): View more from New Jersey

It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.

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