i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm at about main and main street
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!