I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better