Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell