highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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