Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger... http://tfl.nu/dhcq
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (3297)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok. http://tfl.nu/j1n1
  Replies (7) Good night (5301) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11. http://tfl.nu/3slh
  Replies (15) Good night (3216) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon. http://tfl.nu/dsce
  Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (2340)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/ow44
  Replies (4) Good night (2132) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming. http://tfl.nu/qk4p
  Replies (4) Good night (1766) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag. http://tfl.nu/8hrl
  Replies (13) Good night (1225) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now http://tfl.nu/o3a4
  Replies (8) Good night (1977) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over. http://tfl.nu/3u0b
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles. http://tfl.nu/ru6c
  Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove? http://tfl.nu/82jr
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade. http://tfl.nu/mls1
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (287)

Randomize