Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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(314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places? http://tfl.nu/i464

Replies (39) Good night (6201) Bad night (680)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

You mean inside out.

(302): View more from Delaware

No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3

Replies (20) Good night (7592) Bad night (989)
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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(913): id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!" http://tfl.nu/e9j9

Replies (5) Good night (2372) Bad night (544)
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(818): View more from California

you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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(818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i

Replies (14) Good night (3745) Bad night (563)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

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(843): When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done. http://tfl.nu/np50

Replies (11) Good night (5357) Bad night (854)
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(716): View more from New York

she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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(716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj

Replies (20) Good night (4469) Bad night (1032)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.

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(973): he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade. http://tfl.nu/270g

Replies (20) Good night (1536) Bad night (5526)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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(401): I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy. http://tfl.nu/4ar4

Replies (38) Good night (5893) Bad night (1198)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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(765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr

Replies (10) Good night (4790) Bad night (913)
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(206): View more from Washington

I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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(206): I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day. http://tfl.nu/kwoe

Replies (32) Good night (2326) Bad night (1064)
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(316): View more from Kansas

He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

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(316): He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him http://tfl.nu/40tq

Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (989)
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(310): View more from California

we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.

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(310): we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former. http://tfl.nu/kzo5

Replies (1) Good night (1484) Bad night (672)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

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(606): I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died. http://tfl.nu/jcdc

Replies (7) Good night (1480) Bad night (900)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.

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(781): He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent. http://tfl.nu/jtvv

Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (404)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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(781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6

Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (206)

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