And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
