I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the condom got lost in my hair
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Randomize
