Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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