I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
