just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
